Two and a Half Men, Those Big Pink Things with Coconut

Alan feels lonely when his old friends aren't available.

At Charlie's urging, Alan decides to put his past behind him and returns a ceramic giraffe he vindictively took from Judith during the divorce.

Jake thinks he's dreaming late one night when he sees the teacher who tried to get him suspended, Miss Pasternak, practically naked in Charlie's kitchen.

Jake adores Judith's rich, new boyfriend because the man has a boat and a pool, and he promises to teach Jake how to snorkel and scuba dive.

Charlie dates a woman, Sherri, who is a self-centered, manipulative narcissist--a female Charlie. But Charlie doesn't like the way Sherri treats him.

When Evelyn tells Jake that Alan shoplifted a toy as a child, Alan denies the charge, as he has ever since the incident took place.

In order to serve as a good example to Jake, who has been disrespectful lately to his mother, Charlie and Alan begrudgingly agree to give their own mother a party.

Alan's expectations for a first date with Nancy, a woman he met while shopping for groceries, are far exceeded when she introduces him to a world of sex he never knew existed.

Charlie encounters Lisa, the woman he thought was 'the one' until she informed him of her engagement to another man. He's thrilled to learn her marriage did not work out.

Charlie writes the theme song for a new cartoon based on one of Jake's favourite comics, but Jake hates the song.

Charlie is surprised when a woman, Gail, with whom he flirts in a bar, rejects his overtures and tells him that women around town have been comparing notes on his philandering.

Jamie, Alan's close high school friend, visits Alan at the house. Charlie used to make fun of Jamie when they were teenagers, but the two brothers see how attractive she is now.

When an earthquake causes plumbing damage in Judith's home, Alan allows her to move into the beach house temporarily--much to Charlie's displeasure.

After Evelyn undermines Jake's confidence by belittling his hard-earned high grade on a test, Alan decides to cut her out of their lives.

On a boring, rainy weekend, Charlie convinces Alan to ride with Jake and him to Las Vegas. Apprehensive about his upcoming colonoscopy, Alan agrees that the diversion will be good for him.

Judith takes a vacation and leaves Jake with Alan. But then Alan finds out he's being audited by the Internal Revenue Service.

Charlie injures his back and won't let Alan--a chiropractor--help him. At the doctor's office, Charlie is surprised to learn that his physician died four years ago.

Charlie masquerades as a homosexual so that Eric will continue to give him jingles to write. Charlie convinces Alan to pretend to be his gay partner and attend a party hosted by Eric.

While at a coffee shop, Alan and Charlie encounter Sherri, a woman who once dated Charlie just so she could have sex with him. Alan is enchanted with her beauty.

Evelyn harasses Charlie for not calling her, and Judith bills Alan for an expensive pair of tennis shoes she bought Jake.

While scanning the obituaries for potential property listings, Evelyn discovers that her second husband, Harry, has died.

After Evelyn gives Alan a loan so he can purchase a new Porsche, Charlie informs his brother that Alan has sold his soul to the devil.

When Evelyn learns that Jake spent his entire spring vacation with his other grandparents, she pressures Alan into letting Jake stay with her for a night.

Charlie has sex with a gorgeous young woman, Natalie, not realising she's married to an elderly man. At school, Jake must give a report to his fifth-grade class about his weekend.